


What's Enough

by FluffNStuff



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, have fun, i was feeling emotional so i decided to write some good ol iwaoi hurt/comfort, so basically after episode 24 and 25, takes place directly after seijou's involvement in the spring high
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 13:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6330847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffNStuff/pseuds/FluffNStuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you want to stay the night?” he asked, his voice quiet. For some reason, he didn’t want Oikawa to be alone. He didn’t want to think of Oikawa at home alone in his room tonight being kept awake by things he could have done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Enough

**Author's Note:**

> haha who else was freaking wrecked by episode 24 raise your hand (please pay no attention to the switching tenses *sweats*)

Oikawa was quiet on the walk home, his eyes locked on a point straight in front of him but not really looking at it. Iwaizumi glanced between him and his shoes as they shuffled along in the heavy silence. He wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t sure what he _could_ say. He didn’t know if any words from him could make a difference.

He knew Oikawa was going through every moment of that last play. He knew he was reliving the moment the ball hit the floor and it was all over. He knew that Oikawa was going into overdrive about what he could have done to change the outcome of the match.

He wanted to ease the anxiety that was rolling off Oikawa’s shoulders as if it were some kind of tangible entity. He wanted to tell him it was going to be okay. But that was difficult when he himself was carrying the same weight from the loss. He was reliving the same moments as Oikawa, his own mind reeling at every possibility, every mistake.

They had all been like that, returning to the school gym held a heaviness that none of them could completely deal with. There were no sarcastic quips, no teasing, it was silent, everyone lost in thought. Coach Irihata had assured them that they had played well, that they’d fought their hardest. But Iwaizumi, along with everyone else, had to wonder if that was really true. If we’d really fought our hardest, wouldn’t we have won?

Droplets fell from the darkening sky, first slow and sparse, slowly darkening the ground. Iwaizumi felt the cold rain pitter against his hand like small pinpricks. It picked up, the rain coming down heavier as if it were connected to the tears that threatened to fall from each of their stinging eyes. Oikawa continued to walk forward, paying no attention to the rain, the same blank expression on his face that made Iwaizumi’s heart lurch.

They reached Iwaizumi’s house first, like they always did on their ritual walk home. They both stood there silently, the rain falling harder over their heads but neither of them paying any mind to it. Iwaizumi wanted to say something. He wanted to do something to alleviate the heavy tension that was on the verge of breaking. Oikawa wasn’t looking forward anymore, he was watching the rain rhythmically drip from a sapling.

Iwaizumi swallowed heavily and took a step towards his door more. Oikawa turned to look at him, his eyes distant and dull as he attempted to focus on Iwaizumi’s face. The rain clung to his team jacket and his normally poofy hair was flattened against his head, dripping down his face. The heartbroken expression on Oikawa’s face suddenly felt like too much and instinctually Iwaizumi decided to run away. He pivoted quickly on his heel, feeling tears sting the corners of his eyes and a thick lump rising much too fast in his throat. He had his hand on the doorknob when he felt a fist clench into the back of his jacket.

Oikawa dropped his head heavily onto Iwaizumi’s shoulder, saying nothing as the rain continued to drench them both. He felt Oikawa’s hand readjust so it was gripping his jacket even tighter. Iwaizumi’s hand trembled on the doorknob, trying desperately to swallow the lump in his throat. He let out a strangled, shaky breath.

“Do you want to stay the night?” he asked, his voice quiet. For some reason, he didn’t want Oikawa to be alone. He didn’t want to think of Oikawa at home alone in his room tonight being kept awake by things he could have done. He felt Oikawa’s head move slowly up and down against his shoulder, his face tilting more towards Iwaizumi’s neck, putting more weight into him like he was trying to melt into him. Iwaizumi let another exhale shudder out of him and he turned the knob, shuffling inside, Oikawa following him like a lost puppy, still practically attached to Iwaizumi’s back.

Once the door was closed Oikawa finally lifted his head, looking away from Iwaizumi, his hand still clenched in Iwaizumi’s jacket.

“Hajime, are you home?” Iwaizumi heard his mother call from the kitchen. Oikawa flinched at the voice and slowly let go of Iwaizumi’s jacket, his presence falling away. “I’m making your favorite, it’s almost ready if you-.” Iwaizumi’s mother paused when she saw Oikawa, who was shrinking away from her imploring eyes. Iwaizumi met her gaze and she smiled softly. “There’s enough for Tooru-kun too,” she said gently. “I’ll keep it warm for you both, you can start a bath. Now go get changed before either of you catch a cold,” she stepped forward and placed a light kiss to Iwaizumi’s forehead, then stepping to the side and doing the same to Oikawa who barely moved.

Iwaizumi tried again to loosen the lump in his throat, licking his lips uncomfortably, his eyebrows knitting together. He let out a small hoarse thank you to his mother. She looks between them again and gave another sympathetic smile before turning around and heading back to the kitchen.

Iwaizumi inhaled, swallowing thickly before he started to move towards his room. He turned around when he noticed Oikawa wasn’t following him. Even though Iwaizumi’s only a few steps away, and he knew Oikawa was still taller than him, he looked so small, standing in the doorway with his head lowered, hands clenched into fists at his side, droplets still rolling from his bangs and down his face. He looked fragile, as if a light breeze could shatter him to pieces.

Iwaizumi let out a huff and stepped forward, grabbing Oikawa’s hand and dragging him down the hall and into Iwaizumi’s room, Oikawa walking behind him on the balls of his feet like he was scared to make a sound. Iwaizumi felt like he was walking on a field of glass, like he had to be extra careful or Oikawa would fall apart right in front of him.

It was hard, seeing him like this. He’d been like this a few times in the past, with Ushiwaka and Kageyama. But it was never quite like this. Iwaizumi sat Oikawa down on his bed, since he didn’t seem to be doing anything by himself. He fished through his closet and threw Oikawa some of his clothes. Actually, they were Oikawa’s, they’d just been at Iwaizumi’s for so long that he’d forgotten about them. It was a common occurrence, so Iwaizumi didn’t pay any attention to it.

He left the room for a moment and started the bath, feeling the warm water flow against his fingertips. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. He wasn’t sure how to deal with Oikawa in this state. He hoped that just his presence would be enough to calm him down a little bit, but it didn’t seem like that would be the case. He turned off the water and went back to his room to find Oikawa fiddling with his hands, his thumbs and pinkies twiddling together in a nervous habit he’d had since he was a kid. He’d taken off his jacket and dumped it unceremoniously on Iwaizumi’s bedroom floor. Oikawa looked up at him when he noticed Iwaizumi enter the room.

“You can take a bath first,” he mumbled gruffly, averting his eyes from Oikawa’s because he was staring at him and that was a bit too much to handle. He wiggled his toes, rocking back and forth and picking at the hem of his shirt, anything to keep his mind off of Oikawa’s gaze. Oikawa stood up slowly, picking up the dry clothes and wiping the wet hair from his eyes. As he started to brush past him Iwaizumi grabbed his arm.

His mind went blank, he’d had something he’d wanted to say, but the moment he grabbed Oikawa’s arm he couldn’t for the life of him remember what it was. Oikawa looked down at him, a small frown on his face as he patiently waited for Iwaizumi to figure out his thought. Iwaizumi slowly let his hand fall back down, the tips of his fingers dragging across Oikawa’s skin. He looked down at the ground.

“Don’t stay in there too long, you’ll look like a shriveled raisin,” he mumbled. It wasn’t what he’d wanted to say, but a small smile played at Oikawa’s lips and he tilted his head to the side.

“Are you my mom, Iwa-chan?” he teased, but his voice was quiet and his heart wasn’t in it and Iwaizumi didn’t get mad at him. Oikawa’s gaze faltered and he turned and went into the bathroom without another word.

Iwaizumi changed into dry clothes, he’d decided to take his bath later. He sighed falling onto his bed with an “oof”. He looked at the ceiling, watching the colors change the longer he stared at a single point. He wished things had been different. He wished they had won. He wished that Oikawa wouldn’t look at him with hollow eyes, like everything he worked for was for naught. He wished Oikawa wasn’t convinced he wasn’t good enough. To Iwaizumi, he was good enough.

He was more than that.

—

They’d both been quiet during dinner, Iwaizumi’s mother looking between them with worried eyes. Oikawa thanked her quietly for the meal and excused himself. Iwaizumi finished his in a rush and stood up with a clatter. He was about to leave the kitchen when his mother spoke up.

“Tooru-kun depends on you a lot, Hajime,” she started softly, folding her napkin and putting her chopsticks to the side. Iwaizumi watched her silently before she continued. “You’ve always been a good friend. There for him when he’s needed you,” she looked up and smiled, small tears in the corners of her eyes because seeing her son and Oikawa (who may as well be a second son to her) in pain is hard for her as well. She let out a small exhale and attempted a smile again.

“But please don’t neglect yourself. You don’t always have to stay strong for him, Hajime. You don’t have to pretend. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling, but you both have worked so hard. I know how much it meant to you,” she stood up, walking over to him and wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. “I’m just glad you both are there for each other,” she whispered, slowly letting him go.

“Fuck,” Iwaizumi bit his lip, trying to hold back tears, looking towards the ceiling. “You’re gonna make me cry, ma,” he said with a shaky laugh. She chuckles and kisses him on the forehead again.

“That’s okay. Now go, I’m sure Tooru-kun needs you.”

When Iwaizumi got to his room Oikawa was on his bed, lying on his side and flipping through a book, though Iwaizumi was almost positive he wasn’t actually reading it. He looked up when Iwaizumi entered and closed the book, sitting up a bit. Iwaizumi just plops down face first next to him, his arm landing heavily on Oikawa’s chest. Oikawa let out a pained huff, his hand lightly grasping the one Iwaizumi had wrapped over him.

“What’s that for?” mumbled Oikawa with a small chuckle, his touch on Iwaizumi’s hand impossibly light, almost hesitant. Iwaizumi sighed into his pillow.

“I’m just tired,” he grumbled, letting the weight of the day practically crush him. Oikawa busies himself by fiddling with Iwaizumi’s fingers. Iwaizumi lets him, his eyes closing as he focuses inward on the soft glide of Oikawa's fingertips against his skin. Immediately a replay of Oikawa falling into the row of tables and chairs to toss the ball that last time flashed into his mind and he sits up rather quickly, his heart beating fast, filled with worry and regret and a slurry of other emotions that overwhelm his usually calm mind. Oikawa is looking at him, his head tilted slightly to the side with Iwaizumi’s hand still between both of his own.

Iwaizumi reclaims his hand slowly, sitting back on the bed and looking at the mattress, mulling over the words he wants to say, eyebrows furrowing together in worry.

“Are you okay?” he finally asks, his voice incredibly soft. “That last toss…” he clarifies, looking towards the wall. “You’re not hurt, right?” from his peripheral he see’s Oikawa’s eyes widen.

“A few bruises here and there, but nothing new,” he says gently, a small waver to his voice.

“It… was a perfect toss,” Iwaizumi’s eyes scrunch together and his hands clench into fists. “If I could have scored with it…” Oikawa sounds like he’s about to retort but Iwaizumi beats him to it. “I wanted to help you succeed in your goals but I couldn’t. I don’t want you to think that you’re not good enough, Tooru.” The tears that were pulling at Iwaizumi’s eyes finally drop, hot and wet against his cheeks. “I don’t want you to think that it’s your fault we lost, when you were nothing less than perfect,” his face twists painfully in an attempt to hold back a sob.

He hadn’t been expecting to be overcome with these feelings. He’d honestly been expecting Oikawa to break but it had ended up being him. It hadn’t helped that his mom had said those things to him before he went to his room.

“I’m sorry. Tooru, I’m sorry. You worked so hard and I… I let you down. You are good enough. It-… It was me who wasn’t good enough,” he bites his lip painfully, his breath hitching in his chest. Oikawa stays silent for a moment, the only sound in the room the hum of the heater and Iwaizumi’s choked breathing. He then felt a soft, hesitant touch on his hand.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa’s voice was incredibly quiet and fragile. Iwaizumi refused to look at him. “Iwa-chan look at me,” he murmurs. Iwaizumi stubbornly continues to refuse to look at him, looking angrily at the wall. He hates crying. “Iwa-chan,” Oikawa grabs Iwaizumi’s face with one of his hands and turns his head so Iwaizumi is facing him.

His face is scrunched and tight and tears are already pooling at the corners of his eyes. When their eyes meet Oikawa’s face breaks and the tears drip heavily down his face, his lip wobbling. His hand drops from Iwaizumi’s face to his shoulder and Iwaizumi winces when Oikawa’s fingers clench as his entire body shudders.

“Iwa-chan… Don’t… I… I…” he struggles against words a few more times before groaning in frustration and wrapping both of his arms around Iwaizumi and pulls himself into a hug. Iwaizumi flails a bit, almost falling backwards because of the force of Oikawa’s attack and then he steadies himself, shocked still for a moment.

Tentatively, Iwaizumi returns the hug, lightly squeezing Oikawa who is shaking uncontrollably, his face shoved in the crook of Iwaizumi’s neck. Iwaizumi can feel tears on his skin, he can lightly sense the quiver of Oikawa’s lips dusting against the side of his throat. The tears surface again and this time Iwaizumi does let out a sob as he squeezes Oikawa his head dropping as he practically crushes Oikawa in his arms. Oikawa lets out a sound that’s something between a strangled laugh and a whimper as he hugs Iwaizumi back with just as much force.

Iwaizumi doesn’t know how long they stay there, clutching each other in silence. All he knows is that he can feel Oikawa’s heartbeat pounding heavily against him, matching the beat of his own. Oikawa lets out a ragged breath, pulling his head away from Iwaizumi’s shoulder, one hand going up to wipe his eyes, puffy and red from crying. Oikawa gives him a weak smile.

“We’re pretty pathetic aren’t we,” he mumbles, laughing hollowly. Iwaizumi huffs, looking away from him.

“Yeah whatever,” he grumbles. Then he notices that Oikawa is still clinging to him, practically in his lap with both of their arms entwined around each other like some kind of infinite pretzel. He tries not to let the pounding in his chest give him away as he rests his head against Oikawa’s shoulder. “You’re enough, Tooru,” he mumbles, not really sure about his own words but just letting them pour out of him. “You’ve always been enough,” he wipes his face against Oikawa’s shirt, uselessly trying to hide the fact that he’s crying yet again.

“We’re enough for each other, guess that’s all that matters,” Oikawa says with a weak cough.

“Yeah…” Iwaizumi gives him an extra squeeze. “Yeah. It is.”


End file.
